My Bizarre Obsession
By far one of the strangest things about me is my obsession with the Seattle Seahawks football team. Why is this strange? Well, for starters, I've never been to Seattle in my entire life. Not even once. Additionally, I am a rabid Yankee, Ranger and Knick fan, all local New York sports teams that I have loved since childhood. So why the Seahawks and not the Jets or Giants? Well, back in the late 70's, both teams were pretty bad, and alienated some New Yorkers by playing in New Jersey. So I looked around at other teams (being fifteen, I was tired of my teams losing) and picked the Seahawks for three reasons that, in retrospect, are completely ridiculous: they had a cool left handed (I'm a righty, so...huh?) quarterback named Jim Zorn who had a Z in his name, the star wide receiver (and future Hall of Famer), Steve Largent, was a slow, lumbering white guy (I could identify) who ran perfect routes and had phenomenal hands, and the head coach, Jack Patera, would run trick plays at literally any time of the game, making the team wildly unpredictable (translation: shockingly erratic) and ceaselessly entertaining. And, even more logic defying, they sucked worse than the two New York teams. So much for a fifteen year old brain's ability to reason... I now fully understand why the voting age is eighteen.
So here we are, twenty eight years later, and the Seahawks are actually quite good. Consequently, my obsession has not cooled, but rather has grown, like some kind of nefarious weed, some treacherous kudzu that threatens to engulf my sanity, and, on certain Sundays, even my marriage as well. I could talk about the Hawks forever, but training camp starts on Sunday, and I can't decide between the Seahawks toothbrush or the Seahawks chip clip...or should I get the football helmet Xmas tree lights instead? Sigh...decisions, decisions.